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The Sandwich Generation
Episode 190

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Posted by Choose FI

Episode Guide

Episode Summary:

A nuanced conversation about the sandwich generation reveals the complex dynamics of financial independence affecting not only individuals but also their parents and children. Hosts Jonathan Mendonsa and Brad Barrett, along with guest Jean Chatzky, explore vital strategies for having difficult financial discussions with aging parents. They discuss the importance of understanding parents' financial situations, how to initiate sensitive conversations, and the need for ongoing dialogue as family dynamics evolve. Jean emphasizes preparing for the potential caregivers' roles by asking the right questions and ensuring proper legal and financial agreements are in place. The episode also highlights the significance of teaching financial responsibility to the younger generation, equipping them with budgeting skills, and fostering independence as they begin their financial journeys.

Episode Timestamps

ChooseFI Podcast Episode Show Notes

Episode Title: Navigating the Sandwich Generation with Jean Chatzky

Episode Summary:
This episode explores the challenges faced by the sandwich generation—those caring for aging parents while also raising children. Financial expert Jean Chatzky discusses strategies for initiating conversations with parents about finances and health while fostering financial independence in younger generations. Key frameworks discussed include the 40-70 rule, legal considerations, and budgeting techniques for kids.

Timestamps & Key Topics:

  • Introduction to Sandwich Generation
    • Understanding the dual responsibilities of balancing care for children and parents.
  • Understanding Parent's Financial Situations
    • Importance of grasping parents' financial health to prevent surprises.
    • Key Quote: "Understanding your parents' financial situation is key to avoiding surprises."
  • Initiating Conversations with Parents
    • Strategies to open dialogues without pressure.
    • Key Quote: "Discussions around finances should be ongoing, not a one-time event."
  • 40-70 Rule Overview
    • A guideline for timing important conversations about aging and finances.
    • Key Quote: "The 40-70 rule suggests having essential conversations about aging at pivotal ages."
  • Building a Budget with Kids
    • Techniques for teaching kids financial management through real-life budgeting exercises.
    • Key Quote: "Tracking spending is crucial for creating a successful budget!"
  • Resources and Support from AARP
    • Overview of caregiving resources offered by AARP.
  • Conclusion and Action Steps
    • Summation of actionable strategies and encouraging continued dialogue.

Actionable Takeaways:

  • Engage in regular discussions with your parents about their financial and health plans, particularly at ages 40 and 70.
  • Help children create and maintain a manageable budget by tracking their monthly expenditures.
  • Ensure all necessary legal documents for your parents are in place, including wills and powers of attorney.

Resource Highlight:

Discussion Questions:

  • How can the 40-70 rule help in planning conversations with parents about their future?
  • What financial habits should we instill in our children to promote their independence?

Key Quotes:

  • "What our parents want least of all, financially or health-wise, is to be a burden."
  • "Saving money is not fun, but having money saved is a lot of fun."

Podcast Description:
Join us on ChooseFI as we explore the challenges and solutions for the sandwich generation, navigating the complexities of caring for both children and aging parents. We've got practical advice, actionable strategies, and insights from financial expert Jean Chatzky to help you balance these responsibilities.

Navigating Financial Conversations as Part of the Sandwich Generation

The sandwich generation faces unique challenges, balancing the dual responsibilities of caring for aging parents while ensuring their children achieve financial independence. In this guide, we will explore strategies for these essential conversations, optimize financial well-being, and cultivate responsible financial habits in children.

Understanding the Sandwich Generation

Being part of the sandwich generation means managing responsibilities for both your children and your parents. This demographic often finds themselves in a position where they must initiate critical financial discussions with their parents while also preparing their own children for financial independence.

Key Strategies for Engaging with Aging Parents

Start with Open Communication

Initiating conversations about finances with aging parents can be daunting, but it’s essential for avoiding future surprises. Begin by understanding their financial situation, including savings, insurance, and health status. This knowledge will guide your future actions and decisions.

  • Action Step: Schedule regular family meetings to discuss financial and health plans, particularly when you reach pivotal ages such as 40 and when your parents turn 70.

Utilize the 40-70 Rule

The 40-70 rule serves as a practical guideline for initiating conversations. If you are approaching 40 years old or if your parents are 70, use this as an opportunity to start these crucial discussions.

  • Action Step: Frame the conversation around the 40-70 rule to ease into the topic of financial planning for the future.

Navigating the Conversation

Approach the Subject Gently

Acknowledge that discussing finances can be uncomfortable for many parents. Start by focusing on their desires rather than their financial status. For instance, ask them about their preferences regarding living arrangements as they age.

  • Key Insight: Practicing the conversation through relatable news stories can provide a comfortable entry point.

Gather Essential Documents

Legal preparedness is critical for both your and your parents’ peace of mind. Ensure that essential documents like wills, powers of attorney, and advanced healthcare directives are in place.

  • Action Step: Create a checklist of necessary documents and discuss who should handle what responsibilities.

Financial Care and Support

Monitor Financial Health

Understanding your parents' financial well-being is crucial. Assess whether they are living within their means or spending down too quickly. This analysis determines if and when you might need to step in financially.

  • Action Step: Determine if your parents have a financial advisor and encourage joint meetings to review their financial situation.

Teaching Financial Independence to Children

Create a Budgeting Framework

Teaching children the importance of budgeting is vital for their financial independence. Begin by involving them in budgeting exercises and emphasize tracking their spending.

  • Key Insight: “Budgeting in a vacuum doesn’t work”—ensure children track expenses to understand their financial behaviors better.

Involve Children in Financial Planning

Encouraging your children to create a budget based on their actual spending patterns promotes accountability. Start with small, manageable contributions to savings accounts, like a Roth IRA.

  • Action Step: Help your children set up a baseline budget, demonstrating the importance of saving and living within their means.

Resources for Caregivers

Utilize Available Resources

Organizations such as AARP offer extensive resources for caregivers, including guides on navigating conversations around caregiving and financial discussions.

Important Takeaways

  1. Engage in Regular Conversations: Make discussions about financial and health plans a recurring topic within your family.
  2. Assess Financial Preparedness: Work with your parents to understand their exact financial position, aid, and long-term care plans.
  3. Teach Children Financial Literacy: Involve your children in budgeting exercises to instill responsible financial habits early on.
  4. Prepare Legally: Ensure all necessary legal documents are in place to provide clarity and direction in emergencies.

Conclusion

Navigating financial conversations within the sandwich generation requires openness, empathy, and strategic planning. By utilizing tools like the 40-70 rule and fostering responsible habits in children, you can create a path toward financial independence for both your parents and your kids. Start these conversations today, and ensure a prepared and informed approach to the years ahead.

Jean Chatzky stops by to discuss the sandwich generation and how to balance caring for both kids and aging parents.

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The goal of financial conversations with your parents is to avoid surprises. Try to establish if your parents have saved enough, if they have long term care insurance, and their debts and bills.

Jean lives in New York and her parents were living in Florida. They came down with a bad flu and Jean had to figure out how to care for them. This included getting a nurse to visit them in their home and buying them groceries online. It was the first time it hit her that her parents were going to need her help as they aged.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XbKl0RonvnU

How To Start Financial Conversations With Your Parents

It can be difficult to start these uncomfortable conversations with our parents. Here's Jean's advice:

  • Use the news. If a famous person dies unexpectedly or gets sick unexpectedly bring that up in conversation and use it as a jumping off point.
  • If you have a friend who is going through this with their parents, use their experience to start the conversation.
  • The 40/70 rule. If you turn 40 or they turn 70 it's time to have this conversation.

Keep in mind, this is not a one-time conversation. Start nibbling around the edges and just keep the conversation going over time and try to get this information slowly. Start by focusing on what they want rather than what they have.

Start by asking, do you want to stay in your own home as you age? Their answer will give you some direction as to what they are thinking and their desires. Come at these conversations as a way of figuring out how to get them as much as what they want.

Your parents don't want to a burden. They will always have in their mind that they need to be the ones taking care of you. So it can be difficult to get information out of them, even during a crisis situation. When her parents were sick with the flu Jean learned that sometimes you just have to say "This is what I'm going to do. Is that ok?" rather than trying to have them tell you what they want you to do.

Dealing With Siblings

It's ideal to work out ahead who will be in charge of different aspects. Who is going to be the point person for doctors? Who is going to handle the finances? Have these conversations ahead of time so there is less confusion in the moment.

What You Need To Ascertain

Financially, you'll want to understand if they are living within their means. If they are borrowing or spending down their savings too quickly,  you'll need to know this.

Legally, you'll want to make sure they have all the necessary documents in place. You'll want them to have at least:

  • Up to date will
  • Power of Attorney
  • Living will
  • Medical directives

You'll also want to know where all of this information is kept so you can find it when you need it.

Related: ICE Binder--The Done For You Legacy Binder You've Been Looking For

Resources For Caregivers

AARP has tons of resources to help such as:

  • guides for what to say
  • guides to services that are available to caregivers
  • AARP does a summit roughly every 18 months for caregivers

Head over to AARP.com to learn more.

Launching Your Kids

The most important thing is for kids to understand that they must live within their means. They should have a starter budget and an understanding that they need to save for the future.

Saving money is not fun, but having money saved is fun.

Avoid stepping in and doing it for them. Remind yourself how you learned these financial lessons. Often these lessons come from bad decisions. They have to make (and recover from) their own mistakes.

How to Connect With Jean

You can go to hermoney.com/signup

You can also text "hermoney" to 888111 for more info on how to connect with Jean, including access to her private Facebook group.

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